Top Joke in Australia
A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married.
His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha, a girl from the neighborhood.
With a sad face the old man said to his son, ''I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.''
The young man again brought three more names to his father but ended up frustrated because the response was still the same.
So he decides to go to his mother. ''Mom I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.''
His mother smiling said to him, ''Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls. You're not his son.
Top Joke in Northern Ireland
A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'..
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.
Top Joke in UK
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: 'That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!'
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!'
The man says: 'You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead,
I'll hold your monkey for you.
Top Joke in USA
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: 'Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.'
The man then replies: 'Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.'
Top Joke in England
Two weasels are sitting on a barstool. One starts to insult the other one.
He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'
The other says, 'Go home Dad, you're drunk.'
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Five Of The Best Animal Fathers
Some animal fathers have taken other paths–shaped by such factors as severe living conditions that require effort from both parents for the young to survive. Or unusual reproductive techniques like external fertilization (used by fish) that leave males the last ones present–and therefore stuck with the parenting duties. No matter the reason, various animal dads are out there plugging away and raising their young.
Here is a list of some of the top father’s in the animal kingdom:
Emperor Penguin
Emperors are the largest of all penguins—an average bird stands some 45 inches (115 centimeters) tall. These flightless animals live on the Antarctic ice and in the frigid surrounding waters. After mating, the female lays one large egg. The egg is then immediately rolled to the top of the male’s feet. The egg is then incubated or kept warm on the male’s feet by a thick fold of skin that hangs from the belly of the male. During this two-month bout of babysitting the males eat nothing and are at the mercy of the Antarctic elements. When female penguins return to the breeding site, they bring a belly full of food that they regurgitate for the newly hatched chicks. Meanwhile, their duty done, male emperors take to the sea in search of food for themselves.
Sea Horse
The beautiful colored seahorses belong to the most magnificent and most remarkable organisms of the seas. There are about 35 different species of seahorses spread all over the world. The Seahorses is the only creature where the male has a true reversed pregnancy. Male seahorses are equipped with a brood pouch on their ventral, or front-facing, side. When mating, the female deposits her eggs into his pouch, and the male fertilizes them internally. Within two or three weeks between 50 and 1.500 seahorse babies develop inside the males pouch, which are finally living born. Frequently not all of the babies will dismiss at one time from the pouch, but in several phases over some minutes or hours, in extreme cases it takes even one or two days. Several males die a few days after birth of the ponies because of remaining dead babies in the pouch resulting in putrefaction and bacterial infection.
Giant African Bullfrog
This is a large frog, many weighing in over 2 kg. The African Bullfrog is carnivorous and a voracious eater, eating insects, small rodents, reptiles, small birds and other amphibians. The giant African bullfrog is a dad with a very special talent — he can eat anything that he can fit into his mouth. Not sure how much that helps in terms of child rearing, but with over 6,000 little ones to raise it’s got to come in handy sometimes. The South American Darwin frog is also a remarkable dad, thanks to his unique method for protecting his eggs: He swallows them, keeping them tucked inside his vocal sacs for six weeks. When they’re ready to hatch, it’s like morning sickness gone wrong — very wrong.
Jacana
African Jacanas are not known to be monogomous in their mating patterns. A mating pair can have up to 30 clutches of eggs each season, resulting from either the same partner or various partners. The female African Jacana is more dominant than her male counterpart. Females are twice as large as males and can be very picky about who they choose as a mate. The female African Jacanas does not generally choose the same male partner for every clutch of eggs that she lays. This species of birds are known as ‘lily walkers’ because their slender legs and toes give them the gracefulness to walk on the lily pads that blanket their wetlands. Due to their smaller size, males are more graceful ‘lily walkers’ than females. The female African Jacana lays several clutches of eggs between December and April, The clutches may be from a variety of mates or only one mate, depending on the circumstances. The male African Jacana is the main caretaker of the offspring, incubating the eggs and carrying the baby chicks under his wings to keep them warm and dry until the chicks are approximately 18 days old.
Stickleback
Sticklebacks are small fish (2-4 inches) characterized by a row of free dorsal spines in front of the dorsal fin combined with the absence of scales. At mating time, the male builds a tubelike nest of vegetation glued together with a secretion from his kidneys. He then lures the female into the nest, where she lays her eggs. After fertilizing the eggs, the male guards the nest and cares for the young. Sticklebacks are popular aquarium fishes. They are usually not kept together with other kinds of fish because they are aggressive. Sticklebacks are not important forage fish and, consequently, of little value as bait. They feed on tiny aquatic animals.
Here is a list of some of the top father’s in the animal kingdom:
Emperor Penguin
Emperors are the largest of all penguins—an average bird stands some 45 inches (115 centimeters) tall. These flightless animals live on the Antarctic ice and in the frigid surrounding waters. After mating, the female lays one large egg. The egg is then immediately rolled to the top of the male’s feet. The egg is then incubated or kept warm on the male’s feet by a thick fold of skin that hangs from the belly of the male. During this two-month bout of babysitting the males eat nothing and are at the mercy of the Antarctic elements. When female penguins return to the breeding site, they bring a belly full of food that they regurgitate for the newly hatched chicks. Meanwhile, their duty done, male emperors take to the sea in search of food for themselves.
Sea Horse
The beautiful colored seahorses belong to the most magnificent and most remarkable organisms of the seas. There are about 35 different species of seahorses spread all over the world. The Seahorses is the only creature where the male has a true reversed pregnancy. Male seahorses are equipped with a brood pouch on their ventral, or front-facing, side. When mating, the female deposits her eggs into his pouch, and the male fertilizes them internally. Within two or three weeks between 50 and 1.500 seahorse babies develop inside the males pouch, which are finally living born. Frequently not all of the babies will dismiss at one time from the pouch, but in several phases over some minutes or hours, in extreme cases it takes even one or two days. Several males die a few days after birth of the ponies because of remaining dead babies in the pouch resulting in putrefaction and bacterial infection.
Giant African Bullfrog
This is a large frog, many weighing in over 2 kg. The African Bullfrog is carnivorous and a voracious eater, eating insects, small rodents, reptiles, small birds and other amphibians. The giant African bullfrog is a dad with a very special talent — he can eat anything that he can fit into his mouth. Not sure how much that helps in terms of child rearing, but with over 6,000 little ones to raise it’s got to come in handy sometimes. The South American Darwin frog is also a remarkable dad, thanks to his unique method for protecting his eggs: He swallows them, keeping them tucked inside his vocal sacs for six weeks. When they’re ready to hatch, it’s like morning sickness gone wrong — very wrong.
Jacana
African Jacanas are not known to be monogomous in their mating patterns. A mating pair can have up to 30 clutches of eggs each season, resulting from either the same partner or various partners. The female African Jacana is more dominant than her male counterpart. Females are twice as large as males and can be very picky about who they choose as a mate. The female African Jacanas does not generally choose the same male partner for every clutch of eggs that she lays. This species of birds are known as ‘lily walkers’ because their slender legs and toes give them the gracefulness to walk on the lily pads that blanket their wetlands. Due to their smaller size, males are more graceful ‘lily walkers’ than females. The female African Jacana lays several clutches of eggs between December and April, The clutches may be from a variety of mates or only one mate, depending on the circumstances. The male African Jacana is the main caretaker of the offspring, incubating the eggs and carrying the baby chicks under his wings to keep them warm and dry until the chicks are approximately 18 days old.
Stickleback
Sticklebacks are small fish (2-4 inches) characterized by a row of free dorsal spines in front of the dorsal fin combined with the absence of scales. At mating time, the male builds a tubelike nest of vegetation glued together with a secretion from his kidneys. He then lures the female into the nest, where she lays her eggs. After fertilizing the eggs, the male guards the nest and cares for the young. Sticklebacks are popular aquarium fishes. They are usually not kept together with other kinds of fish because they are aggressive. Sticklebacks are not important forage fish and, consequently, of little value as bait. They feed on tiny aquatic animals.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
The World’s Scariest Legends On Some Place
Places with dark and disturbing histories exist throughout the world. Visiting scary places is all about going to locations where the spirits of the dead still roam the world. Even scarier are those places infested with other worldly spirits that are not human.
Here are some of the scariest legends:
The Screaming Tunnel, Warner Road
A local legend recounts that the tunnel is haunted by the ghost of a young girl, who after escaping a nearby burning farm building with her clothing ablaze, died within its walls. Several variants of the legend exist locally, one version has the girl set on fire by her enraged father after he loses custody of his children after a nasty divorce. Another tells of a young girl being raped inside the tunnel and her body burned to prevent any evidence from being found. All variants involve a claim that a match struck within the tunnel’s recesses will produce the sound of the young girl’s dying screams, this purported phenomena is alleged to be the origin of the tunnel’s name.
Bessie Little Bridge, Dayton
The ghost of a murdered girl named Bessie Little returns regularly to this bridge on Ridge Street. She was murdered there on August 27, 1896, by her boyfriend, Albert J. Frantz. Bessie was pregnant and Albert didn’t want to have to marry her, so he shot her in the head and arranged the scene to suggest a suicide. For some reason, however, he shot her twice, so it was obvious that she hadn’t done it to herself. On November 19, 1897, Albert J. Frantz #28896 was strapped into the electric chair at the Ohio Penitentiary in Columbus and put to death for first degree murder. Back in Montgomery County, Bessie Little’s ghost continues to haunt the bridge.
Ohio University, America
Wilson Hall, famous for a girl (a supposed witch)who killed herself moments after writing satanic and supernatural things on the wall in her own blood. The five cemetaries that form a pentagram that surrounds the campus, with the administrative building being in the center of the devil’s sign. Washington Hall, which is famous for housing a team of basketball players who all died in a terrible crashm their ghosts still haunt the hall, and you can sometimes hear them dribbling. The catacombs of Jefferson Hall, where numerous ghost sightings have occurred. And finally, for The Ridges, an abandoned insane asylum that was known for thousands of labotamies and electro shock treatments. Also, a patient who disappeared, and was found five weeks later, her body decomposed onto the floor and left a stain that outlines her body. This stain can still be seen today.
Kelly Road, Ohioville, Pennsylvania
A one-mile section of Kelly Road, Ohioville, Pennsylvania is an area that has had numerous reports of paranormal activity and bizarre happenings. Reports say that when animals have entered this haunted stretch of road they suddenly turn from peaceful and quiet to violent, going after other animals and even people. The road is surrounded by dark, thick and creepy forest where white apparitions and noises that can’t be explained have been seen and heard. No one is quite sure why this short section of road is haunted but theories suggest that is could be somehow connected to cult activity that was once taking place in the area and curses that have been put on the land for some reason.
Alcatraz Prison, San Francisco
The island, believed to be an evil place by Native Americans, has seen centuries of death from accidents, murders, and suicides. With this dark history, it’s no wonder Alcatraz is said to be one of the most haunted places in the nation. If ghosts return to haunt the places where they suffered traumatic experiences when they were alive, then Alcatraz must be bursting at the seams with spirits. For years there have been reports of mysterious happenings on Alcatraz Island. These reports come from visitors, former guards, former prisoners, and national park service employees. From the original lighthouse reappearing on occasion to clanging, screaming, and sobbing, there are too many tales to put into this short article. It would definitely take a book to tell them all. Some of the strange occurences are recounted in the following paragraphs. The Lighthouse – There have been several reports that on foggy nights the old lighthouse, built in 1854 and torn down after it was damaged in the great 1906 San Francisco earthquake, will suddenly appear, accompanied by an eerie whistling sound and a flashing green light that makes its way slowly around the island and then vanishes as suddenly as it appears.
Edinburgh Castle, Edinburgh, Scotland
This magnificent castle is typically medieval, perched atop a rocky crag, giving it an amazing vista of Scottish hills. But inside the empty halls and narrow streets of Edinburgh, there are the echoes of the dead. At least, that’s what has been reported. Hot spots for specters include the castle’s prison cells, the South Bridge vaults and Mary’s King Close, a disused street used to quarantine and eventually entomb victims of the plague. There are also reports of ghost dogs, a headless drummer, and the bodies of prisoners taken during the French seven-year war and the American War of Independence.
Here are some of the scariest legends:
The Screaming Tunnel, Warner Road
A local legend recounts that the tunnel is haunted by the ghost of a young girl, who after escaping a nearby burning farm building with her clothing ablaze, died within its walls. Several variants of the legend exist locally, one version has the girl set on fire by her enraged father after he loses custody of his children after a nasty divorce. Another tells of a young girl being raped inside the tunnel and her body burned to prevent any evidence from being found. All variants involve a claim that a match struck within the tunnel’s recesses will produce the sound of the young girl’s dying screams, this purported phenomena is alleged to be the origin of the tunnel’s name.
Bessie Little Bridge, Dayton
The ghost of a murdered girl named Bessie Little returns regularly to this bridge on Ridge Street. She was murdered there on August 27, 1896, by her boyfriend, Albert J. Frantz. Bessie was pregnant and Albert didn’t want to have to marry her, so he shot her in the head and arranged the scene to suggest a suicide. For some reason, however, he shot her twice, so it was obvious that she hadn’t done it to herself. On November 19, 1897, Albert J. Frantz #28896 was strapped into the electric chair at the Ohio Penitentiary in Columbus and put to death for first degree murder. Back in Montgomery County, Bessie Little’s ghost continues to haunt the bridge.
Ohio University, America
Wilson Hall, famous for a girl (a supposed witch)who killed herself moments after writing satanic and supernatural things on the wall in her own blood. The five cemetaries that form a pentagram that surrounds the campus, with the administrative building being in the center of the devil’s sign. Washington Hall, which is famous for housing a team of basketball players who all died in a terrible crashm their ghosts still haunt the hall, and you can sometimes hear them dribbling. The catacombs of Jefferson Hall, where numerous ghost sightings have occurred. And finally, for The Ridges, an abandoned insane asylum that was known for thousands of labotamies and electro shock treatments. Also, a patient who disappeared, and was found five weeks later, her body decomposed onto the floor and left a stain that outlines her body. This stain can still be seen today.
Kelly Road, Ohioville, Pennsylvania
A one-mile section of Kelly Road, Ohioville, Pennsylvania is an area that has had numerous reports of paranormal activity and bizarre happenings. Reports say that when animals have entered this haunted stretch of road they suddenly turn from peaceful and quiet to violent, going after other animals and even people. The road is surrounded by dark, thick and creepy forest where white apparitions and noises that can’t be explained have been seen and heard. No one is quite sure why this short section of road is haunted but theories suggest that is could be somehow connected to cult activity that was once taking place in the area and curses that have been put on the land for some reason.
Alcatraz Prison, San Francisco
The island, believed to be an evil place by Native Americans, has seen centuries of death from accidents, murders, and suicides. With this dark history, it’s no wonder Alcatraz is said to be one of the most haunted places in the nation. If ghosts return to haunt the places where they suffered traumatic experiences when they were alive, then Alcatraz must be bursting at the seams with spirits. For years there have been reports of mysterious happenings on Alcatraz Island. These reports come from visitors, former guards, former prisoners, and national park service employees. From the original lighthouse reappearing on occasion to clanging, screaming, and sobbing, there are too many tales to put into this short article. It would definitely take a book to tell them all. Some of the strange occurences are recounted in the following paragraphs. The Lighthouse – There have been several reports that on foggy nights the old lighthouse, built in 1854 and torn down after it was damaged in the great 1906 San Francisco earthquake, will suddenly appear, accompanied by an eerie whistling sound and a flashing green light that makes its way slowly around the island and then vanishes as suddenly as it appears.
Edinburgh Castle, Edinburgh, Scotland
This magnificent castle is typically medieval, perched atop a rocky crag, giving it an amazing vista of Scottish hills. But inside the empty halls and narrow streets of Edinburgh, there are the echoes of the dead. At least, that’s what has been reported. Hot spots for specters include the castle’s prison cells, the South Bridge vaults and Mary’s King Close, a disused street used to quarantine and eventually entomb victims of the plague. There are also reports of ghost dogs, a headless drummer, and the bodies of prisoners taken during the French seven-year war and the American War of Independence.
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