Thursday, May 7, 2009

10 Winning Websites with Which to Waste Time at Work

Bored, listless and stressed at work? Perhaps it is time to divert your attention away from that for which you are getting paid and develop a few new strategies around passing the time between nine and five. With these ten websites you will hopefully discover a host of time wasting ways to prevaricate. Enjoy - and don't get fired!

Baby Maker

Many people find their life partner at work. You may even have a crush on a certain person as you read this. A vital thing, before you either make a fool of yourself or your advances are accepted is to ascertain what the offshoot of this possible relationship might look like. All you need is a photo of yourself and your potential mate and a few furtive minutes behind your PC. The results will either astonish, bewilder or make a decision for you. Whichever way, you will know what the future holds in terms of your immediate descendant and may make a decision accordingly. Of course, you may just want to see what the produce of the two biggest, well, idiots in the office will look like. Either way a decidedly delicious way to waste some time - and of course the results must be shared with everyone within a ten meter radius of your desk. Recession, pah!

Insult Generator

You know those times when your boss implies that you aren't pulling your weight sufficiently and that jibe leaves you incandescent with fury but so gobsmacked by their self-righteous indignation (not yours) that you are speechless? When you regain your composure, go straight to this website and it will generate thousands of insults to help you regain your composure. It may also convince your colleagues that you are best left alone when it comes to office jibes. Let them bring it on!

Celebrity Baby Name

Once you have the second parent of your future child sorted then the next thing you will probably do is start to dream up a fabulous name which your child will thank you for each day unto the end of their life. So, why not follow the celebrity trend for baby names that are unique to that individual child and one that will guarantee them a quiet time at kindergarten. This website allows you to generate such names with just a click of the mouse. So, while the boss isn't looking get out that pad of post-its - you will need it. A few suggestions made during your visit could well include ‘Lemongrass Mercedes' if it's a girl or 'Haiku Warwick' if it's a boy.

Face Lift Fun

his is something that everyone over a certain age (twenty one) in the office can share and have fun with. Who needs those expensive consultations, charged at exorbitant rates when you can sit at your desk and see what you would look like after the knife? You are almost guaranteed to forget about that important report as you and your colleagues find out how much younger you would look if you were to submit to the surgeon. Of course you may not like what you see and probably won't if you submit your own photo to this site. So, make sure that you have a picture of your particularly wizened manager at hand before you begin to experiment with this site.

Go Homer with Donuts

Work gets boring and often thoughts turn to food. Although this is virtual, you can spend a great amount of paid company time creating your very own brand of donuts. For the aficionado this will be donut heaven as the permutations and combinations are vast. This site will probably make you so hungry that you may well have to postpone that meeting and go out for an early lunch. It's not for wimps, it's because of WIMPS. Ouch.

Wanted Poster

Sometimes, someone does such an irretrievably bad job at something that they must be punished. Unfortunately, you may not be a manager and this could result in a feeling of helplessness which may only make the stressful workplace even more so. In that case, why not simply slyly create a wanted poster for that office orifice, that gin-sodden slacker that, well, you get the idea. Or this could just be used for harmless fun around the office with no malice whatsoever. Oh, pink things are flying past my window.

Avatar the Office

If you work in a large office this particular project could take days or even weeks. Avatars can be used anywhere - from social networking sites like Facebook, to that uber cool personnel chart you have always wanted to create. There are enough choices here to capture even the oddest looking of colleagues and in whatever mood they are mostly in at work. Imagine the speechless joy with which you will be greeted by your boss when you present them with the finished article.

Become the office sloganeer

Motivation is important and if you want your colleagues to be cheery on a daily basis, what better way is there to ensure that by bombarding them with a new slogan every twenty four hours? The difference in respect that will be directed towards you will be almost palpable. It is important, however, to choose the slogans carefully and anything done with due care and attention takes time. It would probably be a good idea to spend at least the first hour of the working day finding the appropriate slogan to fit the mood of the office.

Design Your Illness

Work can get a little boring sometimes and when that happens sometimes the only solution is to take time out. However, that does on occasion lead to head scratching. After all, there is only a finite amount of times that your grandmother can die or your boiler can explode (or vice versa) after all. Take the stress out of finding an excuse with this disease mongering software. A multitude of very serious sounding diseases await - the choice is yours.

Crystal Ball

Sometimes there are questions that just cannot be answered and when this happens at work perhaps the best thin to do is to resort to a good old fashioned way of getting to the bottom of what is perplexing you. A few hours making large circles to your mouse to create visions and you may well have those important steps to your next promotion sorted out - once and for all.


Gibby said...

The baby maker link went to the VW website.

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