Sunday, April 12, 2009

Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES:
  • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
  • If Mike , Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


EATING OUT:
  • When the bill arrives, Mike , Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
  • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


MONEY:
  • A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
  • A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS:
  • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
  • The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS:
  • A woman has the last word in any argument.
  • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE:
  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


SUCCESS:
  • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


MARRIAGE:
  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
  • A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP:
  • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
  • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL:
  • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
  • Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING:
  • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
  • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

So, share this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
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1 comments:

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