It used to be that if you wanted to get into Heaven after you died, you had to live a good life on Earth. If you cut out the lying, the cheating and the killing, and partook in the praying and the giving and the going to Church, paradise was a sure thing.
But now it looks like all it takes to get into eternal paradise is $13 and a good travel agent. Yes, these days planning your trip to Heaven is as easy as throwing down some cash and picking up your travel kit, which includes a First Class ticket, an ID card, and a helpful “Heaven 101″ guide. If you are more of a high roller and want to travel in extra style, purchase the $16 package. Aside from all the usual paperwork it also includes a VIP Pass. This is quite a deal, considering the VIP Pass can get you into exclusive areas like the Land of Milk and Honey.
You can’t go wrong when purchasing your trip to Heaven, as the travel agents offering the package can attest to. In fact they are so sure you will be satisfied with your package they offer a money-back guarantee on each one. If you don’t get into Heaven upon your death, you just have to come back to them for a full refund.
With that kind of assurance, how can you go wrong? Now, quickly reserve a spot in heaven!